If you Wanna Wait then Weigh It

Recently I've recognized that I have a stark intolerance for queues of all types and sizes and as time goes by it has become more pronounced. I despise waiting on public transit, I absolutely detest waiting on company, I hate waiting for my flights to be ready for boarding and it's probably obvious that the worst part about traveling for me is waiting for my luggage (that's why if I can, I travel light so I don't have to check my suitcase)...but worst of all, I abhor the fact that according to what the old ladies say, I must wait on Mr. Right. But why grandma? I am the most impatient person in the world, so impatient that I am impatient to learn how to be patient.

Furthermore, why is patience a virtue? Maybe because not many people prove to be strong enough to withstand the odds that lead you to "give up" on something or someone? Who knows? However, the question most important to ponder on is: are these wise folks correct and must we wait it out; or do we keep our vision 20/20 and jump on the bandwagon when we think what's right in front of our faces is right for us to spend our forever or whenever with? To add to these mind boggling questions, what if the one who is right in front of our faces, the one we think is all we need... what if his eyes are not on us or he is just not ready to commit? What if that person you have your heart set on rejects you?

I'm not done yet with the questions! How long do we wait if we should wait for him (the one we have our hearts set on)? What about the Mr. Right who's the question mark... how long do we wait on him before turning to eharmony or some other social networking site people utilize these days to find partners? Is there a set amount of time to wait? Is there a sign that we must be ready to acknowledge so we'd know if to stay or leave? Damn... why is this relationship thing so complicated? Or is it that we make it complicated? Too many questions? Maybe!

Enough questions, time for some answers. Initially, I think that if there is one question that must be answered among the plethora listed above, I believe it's the "should I wait on the man who I love but does not love me" question. Waiting is not easy, it may be an indication that the love you have for that someone is true since you are willing to put all else aside to focus your emotions and every inch of your being on this one person. If you want to wait, weigh whether your decision is hurting or helping your well being. However, remember that you must love you, care for you, treasure you, all in all put you first! Ultimately, the reason why you would be inclined to wait on a person is because you think it will be beneficial to you in the end. However, waiting can become like a wound that still bears the instrument that punctured the body and that grows worse and hurts more everyday. In this case you might want to reconsider why you are waiting.

Furthermore, some people may be inclined to ask if the amount of time you know a person is a determining factor about whether the feeling is love or infatuation. My answer is NO! You can know someone for two decades and be confident that what you have for that someone is love, but after two decades and a day, because of an epiphany, you realize that whatever the feeling is that you have for your partner is not love. Furthermore you may know someone for months and know in a heart beat that what you feel for that individual is so much deeper than infatuation and like nothing you have ever felt before. After all, if we could measure love, how would we weigh it? As it would seem, like many other emotions we battle to explain... love is just not that simple. So beware of the people who act like they are "love experts"... in fact they are most probably charlatans!

Lastly, ladies and gentlemen, it is important that you recognize that you can find answers within yourself. Weigh the options, weigh the consequences of waiting. Why is it you think this person is the right one for you? Most of all, live your life, love, laugh and have tons of fun because if you don't you might turn yourself into the living dead. If he is the one, if she is the one... even if you leave or wait "it" will happen and that's just the truth!

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love.

Losing my "Virginity"

I can just imagine how fast your heart is beating right now and how focused your eyes are on the monitor. I can just imagine the questions that are flooding your mind and the assumptions that you are being plagued with. Well now my readers, before you start thinking about how brazen or, for others, ludicrous I might be for writing about what you think I'm writing about-- stop and take a deep breath.

Today, I will need you to be calm and ready to explore some plains that your mind may have never ventured to before. Furthermore, the topic I am about to explore will make it necessary for you to clear your mind and as you sit there, most likely in a very nostalgic mood, I urge you to go beyond the surface of my words in this entry; after all, words are never sufficient for me and sometimes a sound or movement better suffices.

Initially, there are some key words that must be examined. First: sex and subsequently, sexual intercourse. Finally, I will state the definition of virginity and words synonymous for this according to Webster. The phenomena we term as sex is defined as the sexual union involving penetration of the vagina by the penis. Furthermore, intercourse is defined as "doings between individuals or groups" and "the act of penetrating the vagina with the penis." Lastly, virginity is explained as "being in an original, unspoiled state. The dictionary follows by stating that virginity is synonymous with words like "innocence, decent and pure."

Combined, we have an interesting conglomeration of words that explain the process of the removal of a specific barrier that one once attained and the process of transitioning from the once "original" to a new opened state; to a new world that makes you no longer innocent or pure. If you know your Bible or Quran well enough, this may remind you of the story of Adam and Eve who became impure when they exposed themselves and partook of the tree of knowledge of Good and Evil that they were told to ABSTAIN from. Doesn't it? Can you see where I'm going with this?

Furthermore, consider the act of sex and begin to contemplate about the many reasons why restraining oneself from sexual intercourse is deemed so necessary in our societies. Some may quickly assert to the fact that many of our "modern" societies are founded on moral theories that are directly related to the strong presence of Judeo-Christian and Islamic doctrine that prove to be the foundation upon which they stand. However, besides this somewhat sociological explanation, can we go a little deeper than the surface?

In my exploration of this phenomena, sex is just another mechanism used to control the powerless. Sex is so powerful that if one is able to control someone's sex life, one can certainly control all other components of the individual. Think about it. Now that you've taken some time to contemplate on this, who has manipulated you by controlling your sex life, how do they do it and how does it make you feel? For those who have lost their virginity, does your life (relationships, worldview, opinions) change after you begin having sex? Interesting, isn't it?

To continue, do you recognize some fundamental features of virginity? Firstly, to lose one's virginity means that you must have something to lose in the first place-- there is a transition from one state to the next, it is transitional. Additionally, an extremely interesting fact is how much you gain or do not gain from losing. More explicitly, consider the emotions, exchange of moments, thoughts and energies that are essential features of this process which may consequently lead to many benefits or devastating negatives. Now don't you agree that it seems like it shouldn't necessarily be explained as "losing"? Shouldn't we call it exchanging?

Furthermore, now that we have explored all these concepts, can you see how a closed mind can be equated to an pure, innocent, unpenetrated yet not in the least sense impervious ....virgin mind? With that said, I must say that this past summer was the most eventful and devirginizing summers of my very short life. However; unlike every other phase of my mental, spiritual and emotional growth, I have gained so much information from these events that I wouldn't have if I had a closed minded approach to viewing each situation. Furthermore, my mind has been enlarged so much that with each PENETRATING idea, thought or action initiated by someone in close relation to me, I have gained so much knowledge; and it is true, knowledge is power.

Additionally, I urge you to recognize that we live in societies controlled by the rich and powerful who are parasites that feed on the people who are what I consider their host. If you are closed minded and unaware of your BODY they will control it. Furthermore, they will control the activity in which has the most power over all the components of your life. Upon recognizing this, decide if this is symbiotic relationship or parasitic and let this determine your mode of REaction.

On another level, take some time to identify who has the most power in your life and how they attained such high status? Is the intercourse mutually beneficial-- is it an exchange of valuable entities across the board or are you a big loser?

Lastly, I hope that this entry will lead you to continue questioning powerful forces, people and phenomena. Furthermore, I hope you truly get the message I have attempted to share. If you think I'm saying that you must go find a male or female and have sexual intercourse or begin to have it now if you have not yet begun, please, re read the entry and think some more...

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love.

Diaries of an Emotional Thinker

Being in a class entitled "The Philosophy of Sexuality" this summer has certainly opened my eyes yet baffled me simultaneously. However, most importantly it has led me to question many things that I once thought I had understood. With these once clear topics now blurred, and with a recent trial in my life I was forced to think of the events in my short journey that made "Jem"... Jem. But who am I and what aspect of me am I referring to today? Today, I am referring to the emotional Jemmimah.

I was always a sheltered child, yet I grew up in a home that was always open; open to those in need. Just like the case of where I grew up, many more oxymorons were present. I was raised by a mother who was attached to me, yet would always tell me the cold, sometimes brutish truth. As I blossomed, I was the quietest child at school and the most talkative at home. I was the kindest, yet the most aggressive. And as I grew, the once ugly duckling eventually became a "swan" and the girls that became my friends treated me like a gem that needed to be constantly babied and protected; yet they themselves were tough, out-spoken and sometimes rebellious.

Then tragedy struck...I lost two of my best friends (in the same year). Then I lost a young woman who I admired since I was little. I called her "Dawn" and I remember sharing many memories with her when she would take me from my mom to spend weekends at her house. With the already present paradoxes or "ambiguities" that shaped me, these tragedies turned me into an "emotional wreck" and I was totally oblivious to this.

Yes, Circumstances made me who I am today. However, how does this so called emotional girl love without seeming to be needy? How does she survive in a rational world where reason is favoured and emotion scorned? As I was led to think on this I had an epiphany.

So many times we see the world in binary: black or white, on or off, male or female. These ambiguous dichotomies that were already constructed for us that we sometimes force ourselves into are not necessarily the way we ought to view the world or the things within it. This girl has been told she is "overly emotional" only because she is not always rational, she allows the heart to lead her many times and gets tossed into the "emotional" category. But who said that there is no reason in love? At that moment, I reflected on one of my favourite quotes by F. Nietzsche that says "there is always some madness in love; but always some reason in madness."

Furthermore, I realized that this blog in itself, a space where I write at great lengths mostly about love and relationships is enough evidence that I am not just a member of the "emotional" group, but I am a thinker; I'm an emotional thinker. Nietzsche is right once again; whoever said that loving means absence of reason and absence of the mind does not really know love.

In conclusion, emotional, rational or other, free yourself from these ambiguous categories! Furthermore, do not feel discouraged or ashamed when you make decisions based on emotion- sometimes they make sense, sometimes they're probably the best choice you could have made!

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love...

Contracts PT. 1

Fear is the Mother of Morality F. Nietzsche

Why do we love the things that are bad for us? I’ve often found myself bound in fetters where I’ve been doing the greatest injustices to myself and self inflicted pain has been the “cause of death” or near “death” experiences. However, the more interesting question would be: why is it that most of us who try to live circumspectly, who are organized and strive to be consistent end up loving these bad inconsistent things that lead to self infliction?

Renowned philosophers in the world of academia spent all their time talking about one thing, the consequences of these things and how man should or could live because of it. This thing is what we call the “social contract.” Just like this contract, every contract has some things in common and today I will attempt to highlight these similarities that may be the key to answering some of these mind- boggling issues.

First of all, why in the world would we make ourselves bound to something or someone? Furthermore why is it that the social contract, the institution of marriage, three year phone agreements and even unwritten ones between two people are so socially accepted? Now, I may seem to have all the answers but I implore you to sit and think it over today.

In my perspective one reason why society holds on to and praises these contracts is because of FEAR and as humans our priority is to survive—to protect ourselves in an insecure world. One wise person once told me that as humans two emotions propel our actions: fear and love. What is important to note however is that whether a contract is entered in based on love or fear changes the consequences and or duration of the contract.

Furthermore, those who are the most organized and circumspect in this world are most likely the ones who are most afraid to face mistakes and the consequences they bring. Because they are afraid they tend to enter into many contracts that assure them that there will be stability and security. However, in a world of uncertainties and instability no matter how many contracts they enter into, they never find peace of mind or a static life. Instead, they live miserable lives filled with depression, fear and worry; these worriers live in shackles.

One of my favourite quotes is: don’t forget to live while preparing for tomorrow and don’t forget tomorrow while preparing for today. Yes you need to think ahead but enjoying the moment is just as important. To my worriers, insecure, overly organized people who would do anything for security: relax and live. After all, you will learn so much more be open to so much more if you let go of your fears and live, the fortified walls you built in your life can be destroyed by life itself!

For my secure, over confident and disorganized folks: tomorrow is not promised but that does not mean that preparation is not imperative; you attain so much from life when you prepare. Furthermore, I’ve realized that sometimes spontaneity requires preparation…think about it.

There are so many differences between love and fear and the consequences they bring vary… but LOVE...it conquers all….

Speak and accept the truth in love.

Priceless Before Refinement

They say diamonds are forever, but where on earth did this cliché even come from? After some research I've realized that it's only forever because of what it represents after refinement. It is because of this same notion that we view our value the way we do as humans in a materialistic world and the very same reason why we strive to be who we are not.

Recently the trials of life left me in a state of questioning and in this moment I asked myself: is the gem in the rubble the same gem in the jeweler's hand after it is refined? Does this gem have the same worth in both situations? How do we give things value and is our form of price tagging efficient; is our way of price tagging correct?

Initially, before the drama I recently got myself so deep into had happened I was swayed to believe that it was only when the “jeweler” took that material and placed it into the fire, shined cleaned and worked on the material, that the diamond became a diamond. I was made to believe that while in the dirt and the mess the diamond was nothing but a valueless piece of rock.

Furthermore, it is only when the rock is taken, it’s environment changes and now in the glass of the jeweler’s diamond display after refinement, it’s price is attached. Consequently, only when a purpose of worth comes along and we are used as ends in ourselves and not means to an end, we become valuable. Finally, the only conclusion that one can come to if these premises are correct is: the diamond is a diamond only because it is used for a specific purpose and given value by a specific person.

However if we apply this to finding our worth or value as people, although we tend to be accepting of this way in which diamond acquire their value, in this materialistic world that we live in, it is evident that this may not be efficient, correct or healthy.

We are made for a purpose and it is not when we go through fire that we gain our worth. That rock only changes in appearance but the value, intrinsic value NEVER changes. When we live our lives and give ourselves worth based on someone else’s way of measuring beauty or character we are fueling materialism and guided by our world’s criteria of what "beauty" is.

Instead, knowing your worth doesn’t mean knowing what someone says you’re worth. The jeweler does not give the rock it’s value, your parents loved ones or friends do not give you your worth. Furthermore, overcoming life’s battles and learning does not give you your value, nor does your change of environment or crowd—the fire does not change your inherent pricelessness. Instead, it shows you how much work you need to go through in finding your purpose-- it's part of a process to find purpose not one that gives value.

Knowing your worth comes only when you know who you are, why God has placed you here and you strive to do that which he has set out for you to do. The fires and refinement is only symbols of nearing perfection and that in itself does not mean you’re any better in value than you were before. You were never a means to an end; you were always an end, you were never a bridge towards a goal, you were always THE goal.

Ladies, and my few gentlemen readers, hear me out today! You are your purpose and this is essentially what has made you priceless, not what family you were born into and where you can potentially reach in life. Was the man in the manger (the place where animals feed) any less than the man on the cross? Did his worth ever change depending on his age or what he went through?

Furthermore, the fact that God made you, no matter if you are copper, stone, glass, rock, crystal or diamond; you are here for a purpose. Now I implore you to live and learn and find YOU bearing in mind that you are here for a reason, and you being here is what makes you PRICELESS!

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love.

Get in the MIDDLE when you're stuck in the MIDDLE: Finding Balance

The bible says in Hosea 4:6 that God’s people will perish for lack of knowledge. Yes, Jesus was talking about his church but this can also be seen daily while we journey through life. However, my question is do you perish when you have the knowledge but you lack wisdom? I know some of you are thinking at this very moment how could that even be possible; knowledge and wisdom go together.

However, one day a very wise person told me that "knowledge without wisdom is ever present in our day and age and we know it’s there because humanity has so many ways of pointing to the problems but lack a practical solution." With that said, today I want to talk about this very same notion except we’re not talking about rocket science, geology or physics, today I want to talk about the possibility of your body languishing because of blindness in your relationship. Furthermore, I want to talk about how you can risk the chance of “perishing” when you have all the causes but no solution—knowledge without wisdom.

Have you ever been in a relationship that is forbidden by your family or close friends; a relationship where people make known to you all the flaws of the person you look to for help, strength and love and you just don’t seem to see what everyone else is seeing? Instead, your emotions have led you to overlook their imperfections and just love the person that you think they are. Then come the boldness—when confronted with striking news and evidence, your love for that person makes you a brazen defender for him or her and you are ready to attack any person who says a bad word about that person you love so dearly. Evidently, your blindness has hindered you from gaining knowledge and your “death” awaits you around the corner.

Have you ever been in a relationship that you were not in denial about; you were once blind but life has led you to a place with a loved one where you know that he or she is not a positive influence in your life? Have you ever been so deep in love with a person that you know you are not supposed to be with? Has the pity and self –sacrificing type of love ever overwhelmed your life that you were unable to free yourself from a burden or a parasite? You want to leave, you have to leave but you don’t know how to leave? It is clear here that you have knowledge and no wisdom.

These cases seem too familiar to me and I’m sure you can relate to one of these or both of these. The real question however is not if you’ve been there and done that but how do you protect yourself from such detrimental situations? How do we love and still be aware of what stands right in front of our faces? How do we love without pity and do what’s best for us?

These situations involve two main elements that affect our existence: the heart and the mind. In cases like the first situation it is clear as day that this individual has allowed emotions (the heart) to control her. I see “blindness” connected to the nervous system of which the mind is connected to. Blindness is therefore a reflection of some problem within this system; and this is the same problem in relationships! When you are blindly in love it’s because you are not using your mind, you have allowed emotions to hinder the proper functioning of your “central nervous system”.

Furthermore, in case two it is clear that both heart and mind are involved yet the heart is still the element that has most control of the individual's actions! It is evident now that the solution in both cases is finding equilibrium. A balance in decision making between the heart and mind is essential in relationships. If we love blindly or allow emotions to have more precedence than the mind we are in for a lot hurt and pain. How do we find that balance (finding the solution to the solution) is where I’m at now and hopefully that too will come!

Finally, we must realize that “death” will come eventually, no matter what we do; however, living life and enjoying relationships to the fullest depends on how well we make decisions. Pain is inevitable when we love. However, "death" and suffering is not necessary and making “balanced” decisions by using both our mind and heart will prevent us from having an early “death” or having to suffer for years. YES! This is only half of the solution but I pray that as you apply this to your life and relationships you find part two on you own.

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love.

The Philosopher's Curse

Today I have so many thoughts afloat the waters of my mind. For this reason I’ve decided to yield to my pen before my thoughts get the best of me.

Today I pose one of my thoughts in the form of a question. Why does the body of the enriched mind remain impoverished to the point that he is on the verge of death? Furthermore, I also urge you to think on this: why does the body, soul and mind of contemporary man have a high probability of early degeneration when so many philosophers before us have shown us different ways to keep the mind, body and soul alive in a world full of uncertainty?

On the first question I shall now expound further. Why is it that many of these same individuals that have rich thoughts die alone or in asylums, fall into severe depression or become suicidal? It is because the philosopher’s blessing is also his curse.

On a smaller scale, imagine the teacher, writer, interpreter of love; the girl who spends time trying to understand this abstract thing, spending time interpreting different ways it is shown, the one who preaches about discerning the mates worth holding on to from those who are not worth anything. You turn to this girl for answers, for counsel and at the end you walk away reassured that she KNOWS.

But in fact when life requires that the teacher knows, that she solves a tricky equation that she is supposed to know… she does not seem to know. Why is the teacher in the dark in the world that she herself has brought light to? You may say that the teacher is human and for that reason uncertainty is common and explainable. However, the reason why she is supposed to know is for that very same reason; it is because she is human like you and therefore she has acquired the skills and knowledge to teach.

This brings us back to the curse! It is her knowing that is her curse! It is the ideology that she must always see beneath the surface, interpret that... beneath the surface; it is because she has trained herself to see not only with her eyes but with her ears, hands and heart that brings her to her falling. Furthermore, the idea that there is always something to figure out that will keep her body cold at night and her house lonely and no where close to becoming a home.

The teacher has fallen into the snares of choosing between one school over another; deontology or consequentialism? She has lost herself in her questions and in her fight to find one answer. She is wrapped in defending theory and preaching theory so much that she has forgotten that in practice there will be anomalies and sometimes her theory is not the best choice.

“Should I leave or should I stay? Is he worth the time? Is he interested? Why do I feel how I feel at this point that I am feeling it?” asks the so called teacher to herself.

Will this be the end of her? Will this point only be the beginning of her degeneration? Will she go crazy like Rousseau or Mill? Well I say there is a way out of this hole for her! A good end will only come if she makes her philosophy open to change. Her happy ending will depend on how well she is able to face practice—for the theories are there but what good is it if you know the truth, preach it but not live it especially when anomaly comes? She must arise then and find a new approach instead of sinking in traditional values.

I implore you now whoever you are, friend, lover or student of a philosopher or teacher... to understand his or her weakness and that you ward off the thoughts that he or she is a hypocrite. After all, what good is it to despise or make a mockery of someone’s weakness when you too are weak? Also, love your teacher, learn and refute, debate and find other approaches to his or her theories and promise that you will at some moment become the teacher. For in that way you will not be like previous generations that never understood the philosophers who walked before they did and suffered in mind, body and soul because of their inability to learn!

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love.

The "L" word PT III

I tried so hard to find a subtitle for this one, but all my attempts were futile. Today I will attempt to continue the sequel. Initially, I must ask this question: How can something so refreshing, breath taking, bubbly, sensuous, unbelievably amazing leave you desolate and broken; how can it leave you searching? I am not going to talk about experiences today like I did in the past two entries on the "L" word; instead, I will try to illustrate best I can, one of its negative consequences and simultaneously plunge head first into this issue with hopes of finding its root.

Before I go on, I would like to add a poem written by a little girl who was deeply in love, a little girl whose story was far from simple. You see, this girl was the product of the "negative consequences of that "L" word; she was brought forth by a woman who felt desolate and was BROKEN. Although she was raised in love, this little girl yearned for that thing called love and like a rainbow she came as a sign that love could survive and it will be present even after the storms of life.

Though she brought love, embodied it and lived for it, she herself felt broken even before her first shot at the relationship game. It was from her big, broken heart that she wrote this poem to her first love, and it is only now that it is evident to me that how she was brought into the world may have been the root of her brokenness.

Furthermore, because she was unaware of the reason for her sadness or feelings of emptiness she let her fragile, empty, ignorant and gullible heart lead her. It is no surprise that her choices were flawed and problematic and from her first relationship it was clear to see that she might be at risk of bringing forth a broken child, another rainbow child, another love child filled with patches of nothingness.

As she grew she began building a foundation of values, notions, mores and ideologies about romance that was inevitably shaky from inception. It was this foundation that not only her first relationship but the ones to follow would be built on. A foundation that would lead to many unhappy endings, tears, constant brokenness, hurt and pain.

Here are the words, from her little mouth, open mind and fragile heart:

My Heart

I close my eyes and then I see straight through my heart
It's scarred and broken in many places, with many voids. 
Yes! Many spaces, and no matter what I do to push you away, in the mid of my heart you find a place. There, in the midst you bring me happiness.

 Though I must admit that some scars my love, were done by you, but you mended the parts that were broken in two.
Even when I did you wrong, the love you had for me kept us going strong. 
And though my heart till this day is heavy, weak and tattered, having you in there is all that mattered….having you there is all that matters! 

In the middle…. you're fixing my heart as time goes by and when I need
support its on you I rely. Though your words at times make me ponder …thoughts of you make my heart grow
fonder. Your words SUMTIMES STAB ME straight through, and it leaves bloody trails 
and my being, my entire being pale and blue. 
Yet still u bring me 2 life…you keep me going, and its because  my love for you and yours for me is growing. 

I wish we could stop our fights they make me blue! 
I wish you could stop wondering if I'm the right one for you 
Because to me it's clear to see, that you and me are meant 2 be.


Cute? At first....yes.... when you think about the words... DANGER ALERT!

Relationships leave you broken sometimes. The most dangerous however, are the results that come when a person goes into a relationship with a broken heart and comes out of it even more BROKEN. Today, I have no advice, after all, life will go on, hearts will continue to be broken and people will continue to initiate "bonds" ...READY OR NOT. 

However, I challenge you today to think back to your "first love" and rediscover some of the things that may have laid the foundation that all your other relationships were built on. Ask yourself what problems you have and how they may have come into existence. 

Some of the problems may be evident and it's up to you now to find a way to resolve them. If you rather not fix it because you desire temporary happiness from a relationship that you know is not good for you than lasting happiness when you actually pull away and fix your problems.... so you can be whole again it's up to you. The ball is now in your court. 

P.S This little girl grew into a young woman who continually fell into the arms of young men who showed love but in the most uncaring ways. The young girl grew into a woman who found love in the arms of a man who was mentally and emotionally abusive. Will she produce brokenness also??? Will you produce brokenness also? Truth is, your seed is at risk!

THE CYCLE WILL NEVER BE BROKEN IF YOU DON'T PUT YOUR MIND, HEART AND FEET TO THE TEST AND BREAK IT and stand firm by your decision.... or else it will go on and on and on, never ending, never changing and for "true love" you will be forever SEARCHING. 

Today, I remember a love that has left me fragile and broken ever since she left me. A love that I cannot yet replace....a love that I may never know again. Love that will live forever and a love that I can't explain no matter how many words I use. To my sister, my best friend forever... Daniella Reid. I remember her today and always.

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love....

LINES

So I remember some time ago I wrote about M.I.S and in that piece I spoke about how unhealthy it is to resort to the lyrics of Beyonce's “Irreplaceable” every time you and your significant other meet at the crossroads. Well, today I want to talk about a personal experience that led me to sing this song.

Essentially, it is important to distinguish between someone worth working with, worth appreciating and someone who should not be replaced with someone you need to forget. With that said, I am going to start and end with my girl Beyonce’s “Irreplaceable,” it’s so perfect and I must say I see it from a whole different perspective now.

LINES….

There are many things that you must draw lines between. Initially we must distinguish between the boy or girl and the man or woman. Following this, separating a mutually beneficial bond from a parasitic and one-sided symbiotic relationship, more explicitly and simplistically; we must separate the user from the abuser. Furthermore, love that returns to you in bountiful amounts and the ones that return void, those who run towards commitment and the ones who run away from commitment. The ones who find solace in you and the ones who find solace in girlfriends or boyfriends who only know the one sided story. The liars from the truth tellers—the genuine ones from the phony ones. The list can go on people but ultimately these lines all lead to one conclusion:

They tell us how to determine if our partners are WORTH SECOND, THIRD AND FOURTH CHANCES or in NEED TO HIT THE ROAD NEED TO BE REPLACED ....in a minute (According to Beyonce).

The real question is however: how do you tell, how do you know the difference? Sometimes, the answer may come plain and simple to you. The answer may be time, experience and prayer. However, this piece is dedicated to the men and women out there who are with smart, calculated, systematic partners; the tricky ones, the first of their kind, the Genesises out there.

To draw the line, simply ask your partner some questions pertaining to these situations and it will become very clear.

“standing in the front yard telling me how I’m such a fool….” Hey! Only a boy calls a woman who bought him a jaguar with HER name on it a fool. I boy can’t buy his own car or need to live in his woman’s house.

How to draw the line between a man and a boy:

A boy (or girl) is about adventure, about stagnation. He or she is about learning about himself. He or she leans on you and or friends for support. He or she does not know what he wants in life. A boy or girl cheats and lies because he is curious and desires to see the consequences of doing wrong. A boy or girl cannot keep promises. He or she is immature.

A man (or woman) is driven, ambitious and not only talks about this but initiates different activities that lead to the fulfillment of his or her goals. If he or she does something, he or she often knows why he or she did it. A man or woman can tell you how he feels whenever necessary-- it may be simplistic and dry, but at the end of the day he said it. HE OR SHE CONFRONTS SITUATIONS.

How to draw the line between a user and abuser?

This one is simple yet so complex. When I say user I mean those who use you for love care and other necessities mutually. However, unlike mutually beneficial bonds, science teaches that parasitic relationships lead to the death of the stronger. Most parasites are smaller than their hosts, weaker and need the host to survive. Parasites like ticks live through hosts, the host eventually dies if the parasite is not killed or transferred to someone else. Interesting huh? Yeah, science rocks!

You see, if you are the only one trying to make things work, holding on to the threads that hold a relationship, trying to find solutions to relationship problems all on your own, if you feel drained physically and mentally....

IT'S BECAUSE YOUR PARTNER IS A BLOOD SUCKING PARASITE and if you don't get rid of him or her....you will die.

Bountiful or Void?

This is probably the most important line that must be drawn. However there is very little to say. If the love you receive from your partner is growing and blossoming it is the bountiful type of love. On the other hand, the love that returns to you void is that which is stagnant, fragile and empty. In essence, this is not love; it is a disguise a façade.

For Commitment or Against?

If you are looking for a mate to settle down with and to build a family with then you most definitely will need someone who is not afraid of committing. Commitment is a symbol of his or her responsibility, maturity, “readiness” for something significant in his or her life and his or her confidence in herself or himself. It's no surprise then that inability to commit is something that can destroy a relationship as it hampers progress. If he or she is against or runs away from commitment….you need to run in the next direction. Save yourself the effort and time now because no matter how many years you are with him or her…on and off, truth is, he or she is not going to commit…EVER (unless something miraculous happens and Jesus comes down from heaven and makes some changes).

Where does he rest his head?

About the “head” thing, no pun intended. What I mean is, you need to pay attention to where your partner finds solace, peace of mind and comfort. If you partner is always with their friends (worse if they are the opposite sex) ad not you, that’s A NO NO! I have experienced this myself, however, my main reason for saying this is because I think that this is an opening for jealousy and many other evils that corrupt relationships. If this is a problem in your relationship, talk to your partner, after two times…..you need to bounce. Clearly he or she does not need you…you are an option.

Liar liar?

If he or she is a liar and you cannot tell what’s genuine from the fake then you need to leave. If your relationship is built on lies then it is like the structure the dumb architect constructed on the sand that will blow away and crumble with any passing wind. A genuine man is not afraid to say the truth even if it may hurt. If it is something that will hurt then he will definitely know that tact and tone is important when he is trying to convey an important message. Truth is the foundation on which any lasting union is built; it’s like the rock upon which the smart architect built his structure—a building that will stand no matter how tumultuous the storm.

In conclusion, it is important that we make these distinctions so that we can conserve our time and use it wisely. Why waste time with someone who is not worth it? Lines are important. Like my girl B said, “so don’t you ever for a second get to thinking…you’re irreplaceable.” Hello ladies and gents, if your partner is not on the right side of the LINE he is not irreplaceable!

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love.

Apartments, Houses and Homes pt 2 (from courting to marriage)

Yes! My expectations changed…again! I wanted a condominium now! Soon I was living in one that I was not paying for and I had all the amenities I needed but I was still unhappy. I wanted something of my own, that I paid for, that made me happy. In the condominium I thought I had a home, but it was not even a house. Instead, this condo was a pretty, flashy apartment that DIDN'T EVEN BELONG TO ME. Yes, I kept moving, I kept learning, and my expectations kept changing.

With every change I was learning something new, something to expect, or not expect. It was not five months into living at the condo that I found my new place that I’m still at. It was all I expected and I needed. My apartment is spacious, I have a walk in closet, kitchen, Jacuzzi and more! I love it and the price is right! I am content. However, I have roommates. Who knows if that one flaw about my new apartment may lead to a different circumstance and new expectations?

Just recently I was thinking about my journey from one apartment to the other. It was in that pensive moment that I realized that this one will have it’s expiration date and soon I will need a house.

You see I learned not to have too many expectations about an apartment and not too little—it’s about what makes me happy in the moment. If the apartment is to be, it will be. Furthermore, if it is something that should have a 2 year lease instead of 1 year, you will know. However, if this place is taking too much out of you, it doesn’t fit you! Let it go!!

Although I sit here, happy in my new place I know I will soon have to move on, yet, I know the time has not come. I’ve realized when it is time to break a lease and when it is necessary to settle for some time through it. However, for now, it’s all about apartments and what suits my life as a young, adventurous student……soon when the time is right the house will come.

Things to Note

On Apartments:

Never expect an apartment to be a house and never expect a house to be a home.

Too many times we expect our little run down apartment to live up to the same expectations we have in our search for a house and home.

Maybe you were taken to that apartment for a reason: probably you were placed in the landlord’s life to help him or her out through a particular situation but that doesn’t mean you should settle.

With that said, you need to be aware of when you should break the lease.

If your apartment is lacking certain necessities and your parents and family advise you that those factors that it is lacking is needed, then listen to them! They’ve probably been apartment searching for a long time, moved on to house searching and most probably built a home—they are wise and they know best!

Listen to the voice within when it tells you it’s time to move on from an apartment to investing your time and money into a house where you will make yourself a home.

On Houses

If you just can’t seem to find what you're looking for and you are not settling till you find the right house; if you’re tired of apartments and you know you’re ready for a house and it’s just not coming,

Try different listings: You may be looking in all the wrong places

If you’re sure you have the right listings and you’re still at your parents' house (square one) maybe you need to stop looking, start praying!

Also, for those who never had an apartment and you’re still living with your parents (at square one) keep in mind that some people need not go through the apartment stage before owning a house!

Please make sure you know if your house is not a home. If you have a house and you keep working hard to make it a home and it doesn’t work, maybe you need to find out why your work is futile. If the work is one sided, maybe you need to allow someone else to live there—let go because not all houses can be homes. Your home will come! Never settle especially if staying with that house is costing you a lot!

On Homes

A home goes beyond walls and windows. As the saying goes: home is where the heart is. A home is more than just what the eyes can see and the inanimate objects that make a house. A home takes sacrifice, love and lots of hard work to build. Furthermore, it takes the dedication of two people, not one.

Having a home is not by chance. If you know your house is not a house but a home, appreciate it! Not everyone will have the joys you have found, so be happy that you were blessed with one.

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love.

Apartments, Houses and Homes pt 1 (from courting to marriage...)

Life is about stages—getting through them, over them, past them. John Stuart Mill, an English philosopher, who talks about the metamorphosis of the state explains that the state is much like an individual. Mill expounds on his belief that just like man has a series of stages to pass through from infancy to adulthood, so too does the state. His book On liberty further explains that for the sake of the state, limitations on liberty change—the rules a parent lays down for a child is not the same they would for their 21 year old. Mill also explains that there are indications that a state or person has become mature enough where circumstances, goals and limits on liberty change also. Today I want to talk about the stage where a young person is ready to look for his or her new apartment. I want to give some advice on what to look out for and what to look forward to—I WANT TO TALK ABOUT EXPECTATIONS.

Initially it must be noted that age does not indicate maturity or immaturity but instead mental capacity determines maturity. For me, my apartment search started at a very young age. Circumstances came where it was time for me to start my life anew and I was placed in a situation where I had to make my own choices about “apartments, houses and homes.” I had so many expectations, yet all I wanted was contentment: nothing too flashy or exorbitant—after all I am a student!

My first apartment was amazing… in my eyes. My friend told me it was a good find. To me, this place was the cutest, coziest apartment I could ever come across. On the other hand, my aunt thought it was a bad idea and I shouldn’t settle. Instead I agreed to rent it and I thought my search was over.

My mom came to see me and from the time she saw it, she was appalled (hahaha). Oh, yeah…I forgot to mention that this apartment lacked some serious necessities. Yes, it was just enough space, brand new, well painted and comfortable enough to put the mind at ease and make any girl content,but, it lacked a full kitchen! My mom looked at it in horror and said, “well if you like it, that’s most important but how are you going to cook, will you live on junk forever?” I closed my eyes and thought of all the good times I had with my apartment, quickly opened my eyes again and said “yes mom, I’m content and I will make do.”

Circumstances changed again and I had found my other half! Soon my apartment became dull as she took the new spot of number one priority in my life. I wasn’t spending time at the apartment; instead, I was out having fun with my new best friend. Soon, settling with my apartment was not such a good idea. Before, I was so content with what it had that it out weighed what it lacked but now, I wanted something better! After getting my joy from elsewhere the flaws of my place was all I could think of and I wanted something better.

With new circumstances came new expectations. My other half decided that I should move in with her. Her place was funky, cool, clean and it had a full kitchen-- it had all that my old place lacked. She showed me the place and I fell in love! We had an amazing summer together! The apartment was perfect for partying and entertaining. It is no surprise that at that phase of my life I began losing myself. The apartment started changing me. However, the glam didn't last for long. Soon, the music, the alcohol, the fun withered and I started seeing the place for what it was. Soon I realized the place was infested with mice, soon the once funky place was now murky and sullen. Soon my other half became some who resented me and who I began to abhor and..... I had to leave.

M.I.S

Now this blog is specially for my ladies. Guys, this is not one of those extremely biased Feminist based entries that will make you cringe on reading it-- I invite you to read it too, after all, you may be enlightened and finally understand some things you never ventured to discover about your significant other.

Initially, I want to say that for me this issue, another "syndrome" that women suffer from, is because of my complete lack of trust for people. However, this entry's aim is not to resolve this trust issue or to detect why I have become so untrusting. Instead, I invite you to find out the root of your syndrome and your symptoms of M.I.S so that you can treat it and get rid of it!

By now you must be asking yourself what I might be referring to and probably some random thoughts have been ushered into your mind. Like an inquisitive child you are sitting anxiously at your computer asking yourself "why is this entry three paragraphs in and I STILL don't know what Jem is talking about?!" haha. Well here I go....

M.I.S or Miss Independent Syndrome is yet another syndrome that women and their partners continually face today. Before I go on I must give a little introduction about this syndrome and how it has found it's way to the top "syndromes" women are in a constant battle with.

Saying that one of the most oppressed groups over the past century or so has been women is an understatement. Anglo Saxon, African, Caribbean, Muslim, whatever the sub group, we have been tried and tested by an extremely discriminatory system. This system we live in is corrupt: it is chauvinistic, it is controlled by men and places their interest before women's. Furthermore, this system does not treasure the sameness and difference between the two sexes; one that confines the woman to the home, one that claims that we are not as strong as, as intellectually capable, as competent as men and this system is culpable for the emergence of this syndrome.

To add, because of this system, women have taken on the fight to attain equity that they deserve and are placed in a position where they must work twice as hard to gain respect--something that we yearn for after being oppressed for so long. Indeed, some things have changed and it seems as though women have been liberated but this form of discrimination still lingers. As a result, women are still fighting.

Because of this, women have been misled into thinking that we must also fight our husbands/partners--we carry this fighting mentality into our relationships. Now, "I can do it on my own, who needs a man anyway" is what you find yourself saying ever so often. What about the times you would use Beyonce's irreplaceable to console yourself after an argument? What about when you refuse to let him put on your jacket or pull out your chair?

Furthermore, besides being rooted in our history as women, this struggle is dormant and awakened by certain stimuli. For me, when I feel unguarded and love comes around, that's where the symptoms of M.I.S step into the picture.

Maybe you have lived with your mom in a single parent home all your life, maybe you watched your mom continuously abused, maybe you just don't trust people.... but whatever it be, this may lead you to M.I.S symptoms, symptoms that will subtly cripple your relationship.

Remember ladies, men are human too (Although they don't act like it sometimes haha). The first step in fighting this syndrome is recognizing that we can make or break our relationships (it's not always their fault). Secondly, it's more than okay to be treated like a virtuous woman. Third, establish that in your relationship there's no hierarchy, but instead two people who complement each other walking along life's pathway hand in hand-- work together (your partner is not your competition).

Miss Independent Syndrome is on the rampage and we need to take some precautionary measures ladies. Yes, he's replaceable, yes you feel like you can do everything by yourself and yes we live in a corrupt imbalanced system but why let that ruin a romance that may lead to new beginnings and a love sealed companionship?

I know that all you want is some R.E.S.P.E.C.T, but allowing the symptoms of M.I.S to enter into your relationship will only do the reverse....YOU WILL BE DISRESPECTED! If you're not disrespected directly because your guy is a softie, it will come indirectly when he gets tired of you and moves on to someone who appreciates chivalry and you.... you'll end up lonely at 60 carrying on a conversation that sounds like this: " I never needed a man and I still don't need one...oh...and children...who would want such monsters?"

I think that our biological systems, our sex drive, even the bible is enough evidence that a man is made for a woman and vice versa. So ladies you are not meant to be alone forever (unless God has a special calling for you whereby a companion has no place in your life). Treat your partner with love and respect and allow him to show you the same sentiments.

Speak and accept the truth in love.....

Bringing Moderation Back into the Equation

On February 8th I left land and I hurried aboard the Carnival Destiny cruise ship. I must admit that I was eager to partake in everything the crew had to offer--after all, I paid for it and I was determined to get my money's worth. However, like every other experience I've been blessed to see in my short life, this cruise opened up my eyes to so many things. The first issue that I must talk about is the proliferating culture of "imbalanced living".

On the Carnival Destiny one could eat all one can put in one's mouth. There are nine restaurants on board, including a 24 hour pizzeria, ice cream station, coffee and tea station and not to mention...24 hr FREE room service. On the Destiny you can party and drink all night long...and the casino won't close until you want it to. There's non stop fun but if you want you can sleep all day long! On the destiny you can do anything you want as much as you desire to! This, we call paradise, this we call fantasy, this we call good living. When did imbalanced living become the dream?

It's becoming increasingly evident that the world is severely imbalanced, however we must pay attention to the fact that this attribute is in no way natural. Looking externally, it is clear as day that there are wealth gaps globally and most notably, the average American's way of life (which has become the standard to judge all other cultures) leaves the word "moderation" out of the equation.

Furthermore, it is no surprise that human beings--living entities who are in essence; minute parts of this ecosystem, mere pieces of a mosaic, are affected by external imbalances and vice versa. The question is, how can we bring moderation back into the equation?

Initially, we must recognize that sometimes, change comes from the bottom up. With that said, individuals must make some conscious decisions to restore internal equilibrium. After all, as the minute parts of the system alters itself, so too will the bigger picture in time.

When was the last time you sat down and thought about how imbalanced your way of life has become as you've gotten older? How much food do you waste? Or maybe you have a problem with prioritizing. What about your time management skills? Are you frugal? How do you spend your money and what things are "ok" for you to spend your money on? With that said, what does your closet look like? Do you give to any charitable organizations? Why not start your own?

Indeed, there are those people who find themselves weary with life, constantly troubled and confused since they believe with every part of their being that they should have peace of mind. Why? Only because they're continually doing good for others and not for once do they do things for themselves. What we must recognize is that being selfless is not the way either--this is also a case of an imbalanced lifestyle.

Balancing the equation called "a healthy lifestyle" where we can truly be happy, we must bring moderation back into the picture. Instability is an evil that can subtly creep into your life. It may take just one more beer, one more cigarette, one more snack added to your daily intake of food to usher in a new beginning of unhealthy lifestyle. Be it mentally, physically or emotionally.

So let's eat, drink, enjoy life, sleep and all other parts of life moderately. I'm not perfect and I too must embrace this notion, but maybe you can start soon and invite your friends to do the same. After all, when you have someone who encourages you when you falter it's easier to attain the ultimate goal. Let's start a movement... a movement that will bring equilibrium.

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love.

The "L" word PT II

You see, healthy relationships are initiated when two people who complement each other, inspire each other, motivate and love each other, and this can only be achieved when these two "cups" are "full". Only when one is whole one should attempt to reach out to unite with another.

Genesis was...well... Genesis, except he came after the exodus (lol). He walked into my life at the point where things seemed new and fresh; and although he seemed to complement me and to be all that I imagined my perfect match would be, it was not yet the time to unite. Genesis was plagued with tormenting issues from his past lifestyle that affected his present. These issues proved to be too much to ignore; he needed to face them, cross over them and walk away without looking in the rear view.

The truth is, before our relationship could mature or blossom into something beautiful we needed to deal with ourselves. Although I knew this, I ignored these facts and sought to find and revive emotion....life into Genesis. Soon, he seemed to be back on his feet but it was then that I realized that in assisting him, some weird but expected transference had taken place and soon I was the one who needed help. Days came where I seemed too dreary to wake up for class, too tired to listen to anyone-- I was drained mentally and emotionally. This type of love is the most dangerous type of love. The type where you allow yourself to be a sacrifice, the type where you allow yourself to be drained to fill someone else's cup up. The selfless type, the most deadly type of love.

Luckily Genesis was good at heart and he reached out his hand to me when I needed it most. Imagine if he had drained me and left me in my state of emptiness without remorse. It is important to realize that although selfishness is not right, complete and continual selflessness is not either. It is important that we realize that moderation is key especially when we want to give of ourselves.

In closing, the most important lesson that we must take from all this is that in all these draining, depressing, enlightening experiences we recognize that WE MUST ALWAYS EXTRACT A MESSAGE FROM THE MESS! If we do not learn from our experiences we will continue to find ourselves in the same predicaments. In order to progress learning is necessary!

Speak and accept the truth in love.

The "L" Word...PT.1

Like in magazines or newspaper columns I am going to change the names of each person that I am going to refer to in this piece. This piece is 100% raw; real life experiences and I am not writing this to be pitied or to bash anyone. Disclaimer?? Nah!

The most difficult thing is to truly put thought into writing. Furthermore, it is hard to put something abstract into words. How then do I begin to talk about love? Talking about love is like talking about something that is paradoxical in nature or an oxymoron to someone that never experienced or witnessed the two things you are juxtaposing. Explaining love is like explaining faith; it is like suggesting why you believe in God to an unbeliever. I know that by now many who have experienced love know exactly what I mean--at this point you concur.

With that said, I am not going to attempt to explain what that entity, that abstract and mind boggling thing called love is, but instead, share some experiences that I've had with that thing. I've realized that I've been exposed to so many types of love in my short life. Today, I'm going to talk about romance- man to woman type of love.

My first real encounter was with Stanley. My first encounter was at a very tender age, a time when I was told that how I felt was not love; I was too young, too ignorant and naive to know exactly what love was. On the contrary, to this day I know that it was love- deep, soul to soul type love, tender, teary eyed nights type love, rejuvenating....deep breath of fresh air type of love, genuine type love. However, the problem was evident from the second year when times changed, so did my partner and circumstances did not make things better. Our relationship worsened by the hour, the minute and the second.

Yet, I loved him when I found out that instead of being on a break with me he was seeing someone else at his school. I thought about him constantly, longed to be with him to share my thoughts with him even when he had raised his voice at me 5 minutes before. I cared for him and I'd do whatever he desired even after he said hurtful things or refused to open up to me.This type of love I labeled as unconditional type of love.

Then came someone completely different. John was sweet and tender and loving. He was too sweet, too loving, too soft. He was the naive type that constantly needed attention and love. John was the youngest in a small family where he was given all the affection he wanted and still...he needed more from me and I could never give him enough; nothing I gave could suffice. I loved him even when he nagged, I loved him when he seemed weak, I loved him when he cried, I loved him so much that I was scared to break up with him even though I knew we were not meant to be. And as he cried, I too cried and in the end I concluded that the type of love I had for John was the pity type of love. A deadly type of love, but not the deadliest of them all.

After John was Peter. Peter was my friend and our friendship bloomed into a rose of a romance that was short lived and died. Like a dead rose, when it died, so too did the friendship. The vision of that beautiful blooming rose disappeared forever once it expired. Peter and I had a very verbally abusive relationship. I loved him more when he used profanity, I was attached more when he got angry, when he acted strange when he kicked a fuss. I fell deeper in love when we were confronted about why we were together because we were from different worlds. We pretended to fight the good fight and tried to defend our unconventional union; a union that in our day and time should be conventional.

And yet, it was that very minute difference that was that immense difference that had separated us--we were from two very different worlds that were incompatible. This love I call the "abused wife syndrome " type of love (AWS). AWS is one of the worse types of love. The type of love that a battered wife has for her husband. The type of love that keeps you in that abusive union although you know you're being hurt consistently and although deep down in your state of denial...you know you deserve better. This is probably one of the worse types of love and whomever you be: man, woman, girl or boy....beware!

Then came Genesis. This type of love was nothing like the others. However, it was very early in the romance when I realized that this type of love might be the most dangerous types of love of them all. It's like the union of two empty cups that cannot assist the other in the "filling up" process because they were both almost empty.............

STAY TUNED FOR PART II

Until then....

speak and accept the truth in love.

Walking Around In Circles

Sometimes I get so depressed and almost instantaneously I reach for my wallet. If I don't reach for the phone to call my number one in this world (mom), I reach for my cash or debit card or credit card. Every time I feel like I cannot cope I think about doing things that may cheer me up a little, bring some sunshine to my life. However, the happiness I attain is almost always short lived.

Many people may quickly judge me and claim that I must have some psychological problem that needs to be dealt with soon before I get myself into debt (lol). The church goer may say "look to the hills from whence cometh your help...your help cometh from the Lord" that forever high friend may take this moment where you are completely vulnerable to say "the high grade, mary j juana the ganja....is the healing of the nation, it wipeth away all doubt and fear."

Wanna know what I say? You see so many times people try to find a prescription, a hobby or a food or anything on earth they can consume to mitigate the pains that they face within this world. Too many times we are out for a cure when we could take preventative measures that lead us to a road where we need not find remedies for frustration. Instead of trying to find a remedy why not find out the real reason for your depression, doubt, fear worry. When you find out... come up with a preventative measure.

I've realized that in my life the real issue is living a monotonous ritualistic life. I hate monotony, I hate walking around in circles, I hate repetitive void statements that people say from time to time that they clearly don't understand or pay close attention to. I try to live my life freely, I try to have fun and do different things to keep myself free of rituals.

Don't get me wrong, it's ok to keep to a schedule, after all this world makes that necessary from time to time. However, it is important that we realize that this ritualistic way of life can trap us and that we need to free up every now and then. I'm not saying go to work at 5 because you want to "free up" although you're scheduled for 1. Just be mindful. Remember, consciousness is key when you're a conscious being. Be mindful of the ability to be trapped by schedules and liberate yourself every now and then.

So, before you reach for the joint, before you blame God for putting you on this "evil world" and not helping you, before you reach for the credit card, before you step on the streetcar to go to the mall.....sit and ask yourself: Am I a victim of a constantly ritualistic life? Then figure out how you can avoid being trapped in these empty modes of living that this world has produced that continuously infringes on our freedom.

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love.