PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE part 1

DESCRIPTION:

“He is confident, strong, intelligent, he has two to three degrees, a stable job,he is h

andsome, desires to be a family man, good with children, always there and spiritual….. If you see him, please let me know and tell him I am looking for him.

Yes, Freud may have been on to something; although he may have been chauvinistic, sexist and and one who placed too much emphasis on the phallus, but could it all be true? Do women look for their fathers in their partners? Are we doomed to wander this earth till he matches the qualification of status: ideal dad? What does this mean for us then?

The scary and most problematic part of this however is not a new observation but one that we can all relate to because it is ever present in society today—daddies are MISSING!!! The fact is that we seldom find families where the fathers are active members and consistently there. What am I saying?

If fathers are present, they are not role models, when they are not present, there is no male figure that compensates for it. Where are we getting this sketch, image, ideology and “ruberic” from? Furthermore, since this is not in fact what we are seeing at home and therefore desiring, is that ok? Is it ok to have these standards? Is this ideal father figure a myth that no one man can match up to and if yes, are we doomed to be alone? What are the consequences of this and how do we overcome it?

First and foremost, it is not ok to have standards and not know from whence these desires came. This blog is about awareness and searching for answers, so I first implore you to figure out why you want this type of man. If your standards are based solely on indoctrination by media or peers, please, begin by finding out more about you and what you need in a partner to compliment your complex personality.

Secondly, this ideal sketch that most women have is sometimes unrealistic. Having standards is not bad however, but I urge you to have goals that are realistic! Good, great and phenomenal men exist so NO whatever you desire in a man (once your goal is realistic and matches compliments you) is not a myth. YOU ARE NOT DOOMED to be alone!

Also, for those who do have great dads who are active members of her family, I know that you too face issues much like those who have no visible father figure. Most of you want to test the waters. You do know that having a great man is the standard and your ultimate desire, but ”is this all there is” you ask yourself. You think that there is more out there to experiment with, you do not want to settle until you find out if there’s something better than daddy. Besides this, you compare men you meet first with daddy, if he does not meet daddy’s image you get rid of him, no matter of the way in which he differs from your dad is really insignificant. The n you wonder why you are alone!

Oh, let’s not forget those who had strong Independent women as role models in place of present fathers. Most of you who are avid readers of my blog, I know that you are familiar with M.I.S and we see again where this syndrome can develop! Yes, it happens in this circumstance—you believe that you can do it all by yourself!

However, M.I.S is just one complex that is birthed in a society like our own where we are searching for the non-existent, never present, extinct dad! Besides M.I.S, the SCRUB COMPLEX is born. I will have to expound on this in my next post.

In conclusion, this is not a problem for one race, gender or class—this is a societal problem, for all PEOPLE. Knowing that this issue exists, it is important to be aware of the standards that have and make certain that they are realistic and tender to your personality and needs. Lastly, be hopeful! There is someone for everyone and with realistic goals and by knowing SELF… he will make himself present and you will KNOW who he is when he comes.

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love.