The "L" word PT III

I tried so hard to find a subtitle for this one, but all my attempts were futile. Today I will attempt to continue the sequel. Initially, I must ask this question: How can something so refreshing, breath taking, bubbly, sensuous, unbelievably amazing leave you desolate and broken; how can it leave you searching? I am not going to talk about experiences today like I did in the past two entries on the "L" word; instead, I will try to illustrate best I can, one of its negative consequences and simultaneously plunge head first into this issue with hopes of finding its root.

Before I go on, I would like to add a poem written by a little girl who was deeply in love, a little girl whose story was far from simple. You see, this girl was the product of the "negative consequences of that "L" word; she was brought forth by a woman who felt desolate and was BROKEN. Although she was raised in love, this little girl yearned for that thing called love and like a rainbow she came as a sign that love could survive and it will be present even after the storms of life.

Though she brought love, embodied it and lived for it, she herself felt broken even before her first shot at the relationship game. It was from her big, broken heart that she wrote this poem to her first love, and it is only now that it is evident to me that how she was brought into the world may have been the root of her brokenness.

Furthermore, because she was unaware of the reason for her sadness or feelings of emptiness she let her fragile, empty, ignorant and gullible heart lead her. It is no surprise that her choices were flawed and problematic and from her first relationship it was clear to see that she might be at risk of bringing forth a broken child, another rainbow child, another love child filled with patches of nothingness.

As she grew she began building a foundation of values, notions, mores and ideologies about romance that was inevitably shaky from inception. It was this foundation that not only her first relationship but the ones to follow would be built on. A foundation that would lead to many unhappy endings, tears, constant brokenness, hurt and pain.

Here are the words, from her little mouth, open mind and fragile heart:

My Heart

I close my eyes and then I see straight through my heart
It's scarred and broken in many places, with many voids. 
Yes! Many spaces, and no matter what I do to push you away, in the mid of my heart you find a place. There, in the midst you bring me happiness.

 Though I must admit that some scars my love, were done by you, but you mended the parts that were broken in two.
Even when I did you wrong, the love you had for me kept us going strong. 
And though my heart till this day is heavy, weak and tattered, having you in there is all that mattered….having you there is all that matters! 

In the middle…. you're fixing my heart as time goes by and when I need
support its on you I rely. Though your words at times make me ponder …thoughts of you make my heart grow
fonder. Your words SUMTIMES STAB ME straight through, and it leaves bloody trails 
and my being, my entire being pale and blue. 
Yet still u bring me 2 life…you keep me going, and its because  my love for you and yours for me is growing. 

I wish we could stop our fights they make me blue! 
I wish you could stop wondering if I'm the right one for you 
Because to me it's clear to see, that you and me are meant 2 be.


Cute? At first....yes.... when you think about the words... DANGER ALERT!

Relationships leave you broken sometimes. The most dangerous however, are the results that come when a person goes into a relationship with a broken heart and comes out of it even more BROKEN. Today, I have no advice, after all, life will go on, hearts will continue to be broken and people will continue to initiate "bonds" ...READY OR NOT. 

However, I challenge you today to think back to your "first love" and rediscover some of the things that may have laid the foundation that all your other relationships were built on. Ask yourself what problems you have and how they may have come into existence. 

Some of the problems may be evident and it's up to you now to find a way to resolve them. If you rather not fix it because you desire temporary happiness from a relationship that you know is not good for you than lasting happiness when you actually pull away and fix your problems.... so you can be whole again it's up to you. The ball is now in your court. 

P.S This little girl grew into a young woman who continually fell into the arms of young men who showed love but in the most uncaring ways. The young girl grew into a woman who found love in the arms of a man who was mentally and emotionally abusive. Will she produce brokenness also??? Will you produce brokenness also? Truth is, your seed is at risk!

THE CYCLE WILL NEVER BE BROKEN IF YOU DON'T PUT YOUR MIND, HEART AND FEET TO THE TEST AND BREAK IT and stand firm by your decision.... or else it will go on and on and on, never ending, never changing and for "true love" you will be forever SEARCHING. 

Today, I remember a love that has left me fragile and broken ever since she left me. A love that I cannot yet replace....a love that I may never know again. Love that will live forever and a love that I can't explain no matter how many words I use. To my sister, my best friend forever... Daniella Reid. I remember her today and always.

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love....