Saturday, March 20, 2010

Apartments, Houses and Homes pt 1 (from courting to marriage...)

Life is about stages—getting through them, over them, past them. John Stuart Mill, an English philosopher, who talks about the metamorphosis of the state explains that the state is much like an individual. Mill expounds on his belief that just like man has a series of stages to pass through from infancy to adulthood, so too does the state. His book On liberty further explains that for the sake of the state, limitations on liberty change—the rules a parent lays down for a child is not the same they would for their 21 year old. Mill also explains that there are indications that a state or person has become mature enough where circumstances, goals and limits on liberty change also. Today I want to talk about the stage where a young person is ready to look for his or her new apartment. I want to give some advice on what to look out for and what to look forward to—I WANT TO TALK ABOUT EXPECTATIONS.

Initially it must be noted that age does not indicate maturity or immaturity but instead mental capacity determines maturity. For me, my apartment search started at a very young age. Circumstances came where it was time for me to start my life anew and I was placed in a situation where I had to make my own choices about “apartments, houses and homes.” I had so many expectations, yet all I wanted was contentment: nothing too flashy or exorbitant—after all I am a student!

My first apartment was amazing… in my eyes. My friend told me it was a good find. To me, this place was the cutest, coziest apartment I could ever come across. On the other hand, my aunt thought it was a bad idea and I shouldn’t settle. Instead I agreed to rent it and I thought my search was over.

My mom came to see me and from the time she saw it, she was appalled (hahaha). Oh, yeah…I forgot to mention that this apartment lacked some serious necessities. Yes, it was just enough space, brand new, well painted and comfortable enough to put the mind at ease and make any girl content,but, it lacked a full kitchen! My mom looked at it in horror and said, “well if you like it, that’s most important but how are you going to cook, will you live on junk forever?” I closed my eyes and thought of all the good times I had with my apartment, quickly opened my eyes again and said “yes mom, I’m content and I will make do.”

Circumstances changed again and I had found my other half! Soon my apartment became dull as she took the new spot of number one priority in my life. I wasn’t spending time at the apartment; instead, I was out having fun with my new best friend. Soon, settling with my apartment was not such a good idea. Before, I was so content with what it had that it out weighed what it lacked but now, I wanted something better! After getting my joy from elsewhere the flaws of my place was all I could think of and I wanted something better.

With new circumstances came new expectations. My other half decided that I should move in with her. Her place was funky, cool, clean and it had a full kitchen-- it had all that my old place lacked. She showed me the place and I fell in love! We had an amazing summer together! The apartment was perfect for partying and entertaining. It is no surprise that at that phase of my life I began losing myself. The apartment started changing me. However, the glam didn't last for long. Soon, the music, the alcohol, the fun withered and I started seeing the place for what it was. Soon I realized the place was infested with mice, soon the once funky place was now murky and sullen. Soon my other half became some who resented me and who I began to abhor and..... I had to leave.

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