Walking Around In Circles

Sometimes I get so depressed and almost instantaneously I reach for my wallet. If I don't reach for the phone to call my number one in this world (mom), I reach for my cash or debit card or credit card. Every time I feel like I cannot cope I think about doing things that may cheer me up a little, bring some sunshine to my life. However, the happiness I attain is almost always short lived.

Many people may quickly judge me and claim that I must have some psychological problem that needs to be dealt with soon before I get myself into debt (lol). The church goer may say "look to the hills from whence cometh your help...your help cometh from the Lord" that forever high friend may take this moment where you are completely vulnerable to say "the high grade, mary j juana the ganja....is the healing of the nation, it wipeth away all doubt and fear."

Wanna know what I say? You see so many times people try to find a prescription, a hobby or a food or anything on earth they can consume to mitigate the pains that they face within this world. Too many times we are out for a cure when we could take preventative measures that lead us to a road where we need not find remedies for frustration. Instead of trying to find a remedy why not find out the real reason for your depression, doubt, fear worry. When you find out... come up with a preventative measure.

I've realized that in my life the real issue is living a monotonous ritualistic life. I hate monotony, I hate walking around in circles, I hate repetitive void statements that people say from time to time that they clearly don't understand or pay close attention to. I try to live my life freely, I try to have fun and do different things to keep myself free of rituals.

Don't get me wrong, it's ok to keep to a schedule, after all this world makes that necessary from time to time. However, it is important that we realize that this ritualistic way of life can trap us and that we need to free up every now and then. I'm not saying go to work at 5 because you want to "free up" although you're scheduled for 1. Just be mindful. Remember, consciousness is key when you're a conscious being. Be mindful of the ability to be trapped by schedules and liberate yourself every now and then.

So, before you reach for the joint, before you blame God for putting you on this "evil world" and not helping you, before you reach for the credit card, before you step on the streetcar to go to the mall.....sit and ask yourself: Am I a victim of a constantly ritualistic life? Then figure out how you can avoid being trapped in these empty modes of living that this world has produced that continuously infringes on our freedom.

Speak the truth and accept the truth in love.